How do we relate to one another?

Addendum 4 hours later:
I feel like this is still not getting at the question(s) swirling around in my mind.  Though I can't really put my finger on it.  Things are better at Occupy now, set meal times and just generally trying to get everyone at camp plugged in, regardless of where they live while they're not there seems to be going well.  Also set meal times and closing down the kitchen in between those times is keeping things under control.  Hopefully we'll all start to relate to each other better as well.


My mind is awash with ideas, this is sure to be incoherent.

A city is a place where a lot of people of different backgrounds live together.  We all have to share this space.  We will interact with each other, but why and where and how are defined by the choices we make.  In a ridiculous example, I could, in the city of Detroit, choose never to share a meal with a black person.  I could choose to never smile at someone who does not speak English in the same way that I do.  I would like to say that I have already shared many meals with my black coworkers and smiled at lots of people in my neighborhood who are originally from Mexico and so speak with an accent, but these are extreme examples.

The more subtle come up all the time.  Do I assume the twitchy guy sitting at the bus stop is on drugs or has some sort of disease of the nervous system?  Depending on that assumption to I act differently when he yells out "Hey sister!"  Do I assume the former if he is black and the latter if he is white?  if his coat is dirty?  if he has all his teeth?  if it is a woman rather than a man?

This has come up most recently at the Occupy Detroit site for me.  A lot of people have been coming there for food.  There's a controversy because many people are getting meals who are not necessarily participating in the camp in other ways.  Some are also getting multiple helpings.  Many of these people are perceived as "homeless" (we really don't know where they usually sleep, and as a group that is spending its night in tents in a park I'm not sure we should judge).  Some have acted out in ways that have made folks think they are drunk or on drugs.  When I am serving food I have certainly been thinking things like "Oh, I bet that guy is homeless" and have noticed I think this most often about black guys.  Then there was a white guy working with me in the food tent who said that he had been homeless for awhile, and I realized that as seen as he had told me that, I started thinking "Oh, I bet that guy is homeless" about more of the white people coming up.

And do I treat the people that I think are homeless differently than the other people coming up for food.  When I am in a good mood and things are going well, I don't really think so, when I am in a good customer service mode I am nice to everyone.  When I was cold and my feet were getting wet through my socks and some folks by the fire were getting belligerent and I needed to go home soon and the next shift was no where in site?  I was short with everyone, but definitely more so with the people I thought were homeless and therefore taking advantage of the camp.  I realized it and caught myself, but still it was not a good moment.

How do we deal with this?  How do we change the way we make assumptions and how we treat people?  I don't know, but I suspect it means we just need to be aware of when we are making those assumptions and try to correct for it.  Thoughts?